In summary I don’t understand gender, and what I thought I understood I now understand even less.
This was the start of a long, inevitable tumble down the rabit hole.
Rereading, I realise I concluded every section with some variant of ‘It’s not important’, however I want to stress that the distinctions are not important to me rather than unimportant universally.
Everyone experiences gender differently. Some feel their gender strongly, some weakly, some not at all. Sometimes it fluctuates. And sometimes this matches that which they were assigned at birth. Sometimes not. Sometimes it fluctuates. Let everyone do their own gender thing. Be like Vi. We can all not understand each other’s genders together.
I approach anyone talking about manliness, masculinity, or whatever with a great deal of suspicion and prejudice. Possibly unwarranted in some cases, and that definitely hurts me trying to understand gender and transgender people and so I’m trying to keep that prejudice confined to the places where it’s useful.
Note that only manliness and masculinity is getting called out here. Anything you want to tell the class Dana? no? carry on ↩
This sentence must remain as awkwardly constructed as it is.
And will forever ↩
For an example see the second half of my post on masculinity
I’ve been to a couple of women-only events when there were zero women who volunteered to run the sound desk.
Excepting difficult conversations.
There’s not nearly as many difficult conversations as you’d think ↩