This flirting guide has caused a lot of anger and questions among my bloggy friends after one posted it to the facebook. Flirting is not something I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about in my life, so I didn’t intend to write about it, but my braincogs were turning - peeling back layers to find the core.
I love to over-simplify and may have gone too far, but at it’s most basic I see flirting as 3 things. The first two:
- Appearing interested.
- Appearing interesting.
The trouble-causing guide tries to bolster the appearance of interest though subterfuge and the careful study and imitation of body language. However just being interesting and being comfortable showing it should be enough, and if you’re interested that should be evident without consciously acting out an attentive persona.
In most people’s cases these act in self-selecting way. What you find interesting in general will make you interested and interesting to the set of people you’re interested in.
The tricky one is the last element:
- Being aware of the other's (dis)interest.
Due to being conditioned to assume that all girls are uninterested and having healthy dose of general obliviousness I tend to miss or distrust the signs of attraction I do see. Therefore I have nothing helpful to say here. Thankfully Polly is onto-it enough to know that my lack of awareness wasn’t disinterest, it was just plain-old stupidity - amazingly it didn’t dissuade her. I’m pretty lucky.